Conker T. Squirrel Interview By: LucybonesSquirrel
LucybonesSquirrel:*sits on her chair, feeling bored* YAAAAAAWN! ... Wow, there's so much I can do in here, and I'm still bored... Yeah, I intended to have my friend join me in another joint interview, but she's been sick for nearly a week so I'm here by myself... Wonder when Conker will arrive.
Conker: *opens door* Hiya pal, how's it going?
LucybonesSquirrel: Oh, finally. And you're not drunk this time?!
Conker: Nope, I decided to let the beer be today. Where's your friend?
LucybonesSquirrel: Um... don't you know she's at home today being sick?
Conker: Oh, I remember now. So, it's just you and me here now.
LucybonesSquirrel: Alright, shall we get on with the interview?
Conker: Um... yeah. Even if there's not much else to ask I can answer a few things, so... on with the questions!
LucybonesSquirrel: Well... Haven't really prepared today, as I were mostly sitting in here being bored, but anyway... How's life in general?
Conker: Well, it's going up and down at the moment, but aside from my drinking things are going quite good.
LucybonesSquirrel: How is your wife?
Conker: You mean Berri? She's doing fine. She's working out with Cherri downstairs.
LucybonesSquirrel: Alright. If we now go back a little to a specific point in our first interview; You said you hated Franky the Pitchfork. Do you hate him as much now as you did in CBFD?
Conker: Well. I still don't like him very much, but my hate for him has settled down since we first met, so one could say I've become a bit more friendly to him.
LucybonesSquirrel: What about Honker the Skunk, your old enemy?
Conker: Well, it's 50-50 now. We aren't as much enemies as we were back in Conker's Pocket Tales. We can even pass by each other without getting into any fights.
LucybonesSquirrel: Even as far as having a pint of beer together??
Conker: Yep. Not all the time though, sometimes we tend to get angry at each other, but it's often not that violent.
LucybonesSquirrel: You sure have changed for the better since CBFD.
*door opens.*
Ebisumaru: Hey Lucybones, do you know where Goemon is? I can't find him anywhere.
Conker: Alright, who's this guy?
LucybonesSquirrel: Ebisumaru! Haven't I told you this is not your series?? And no, I haven't seen him.
Ebisumaru: Well, I don't know what I'm doing here anyway. I'm hungry, you got any rice balls?
LucybonesSquirrel: No, don't have any.
Ebisumaru: What about dumplings?
LucybonesSquirrel: Alright alright. I have them in my pocket. Was going to give them to you before heading off to the interview, but...
Goemon: Hey Ebisumaru. Would you come now? I really need your... oh, sorry. We seem to be in the wrong universe...
Ebisumaru: Well I don't know Goemon, but *chews on his dumpling.* this dumpling he gave me sure is quite tasty!
Goemon: *facepalms.* Ebisumaru... I told you to stay away from the dumplings for awhile. Sorry if we disturbed you guys, me and Ebisumaru here will be heading off immediately.
Ebisumaru: But that green-dressed guy's been playing our games. Can't I have a interview too??
Goemon: No, maybe later. Come on now!
Ebisumaru: Darn it...
*Door shuts.*
Conker: *looking all confused* Weird...
LucybonesSquirrel: Yeah... so, how's your daughter?
Conker: Ah, she's fine. She doesn't seem to care about money as much as I do, but I suppose it's a good thing we're a bit different.
LucybonesSquirrel: Anything about Rodent?
Conker: Well... Don't hate him now as much either.
LucybonesSquirrel: So... now this would be my last question. If you were to get a sequel, would you like to have your daughter join you on your adventure?
Conker: Well, I'm a bit worried over that, but since she's grown up now I think I can let her join me. Anymore questions?
LucybonesSquirrel: Nope, I think we're done for todays interview.
Conker: Alright, let's head out then.
*CRASH!*
LucybonesSquirrel: Whah?!? What was that noise?!
Conker: Hang on, I think I know what happened! Let's go check the living room!
*Down in the living room.*
Berri: My god, Cherri! Are you ok??
Cherri: Ouch... Yes mom, I'm ok...
LucybonesSquirrel: What's going on down here??
Berri: Cherri lost her balance while we were working out. She seems to be fine though.
Cherri: Yeah. Apart from having broken my left ankle... Ow!
Berri: You better sit down on the couch so I can check.
Cherri: Ok.
*After Cherri sits herself on the couch Berri starts to check Cherri's foot.*
Berri: Hm. Seems to be looking alright. The foot just got in a odd position when you fell on the floor. A couple days rest should do it.
Cherri: But I don't wanna sit down all day!
Berri: You don't have to Cherri. But I don't think you can go out for a while until your ankle's ok again.
Cherri: But what about our workout routines??
Berri: You won't be able to do the exercises in the way I do, but we'll think of something so you can still take part.
Cherri: Well, that's good...
Conker: Well, I'm glad Cherri is fine at least. At first I thought it was worse than that...
Cherri: Ow... By the way, sorry if we disrupted your interview Ms. LucybonesSquirrel.
LucybonesSquirrel: Don't worry. We're already finished. *Isn't looking and is about to trip on the coord to the controller attached to the Nintendo 64 next to the TV.*
Conker: Milletta, look out!!
*LucybonesSquirrel trips on the controller coord and starts to hop into a wall, causing a frying pan hanging on a spike to fall down and hit her on the head, knocking her out.*
Cherri: Ouch. That sure has got to hurt.
Conker: Ah damn, I was gonna follow LucybonesSquirrel a bit on her way back to her place. Should we call the ambulance?
Berri: I don't there's any need to. She's just simply gotten a blow on her head.
*LucybonesSquirrel wakes up again.*
LucybonesSquirrel: Huh? Where am I, what am I doing here? Who are you guys?
Conker: What the heck are you talking about?? Of course you know who we are, don't you!
Cherri: Looks like she has just lost her memory, or something...
Berri: Hm, looks like we need to find a way to cure LucybonesSquirrel.
Cherri: Could hitting her head with the frying pan work, considering it fell on her?
Conker: I don't know, but it won't hurt to try.
*Conker takes the frying pan and whacks LucybonesSquirrel on the head with it.*
Conker: Hm, did it work??
LucybonesSquirrel: I don't know what you mean by "did it work?", but... i still don't know who I am, or why I'm even doing here...
Cherri: Looks like it'll take more than just a frying pan to cure her memory loss.
Conker: I'll be taking care of her. You watch over Cherri, Berri.
Berri: I will, Conker. Now promise to be back home by 18 O' clock, and DON'T sneak out to the pub again!
Conker: Alright. That is if this lady here manages to regain her memory before then. Come on now Lucybones, time to go out and find something strong to knock your head with.
LucybonesSquirrel: Um... are you talking to me, whoever you are again?
Conker: *Sighs.* Just come with me already!
*Conker grabs her hand and walks out with her. On their way to some place they pass by Goemon and Ebisumaru who left the squirrel family's home earlier.*
Ebisumaru: Hey, it's that lady with the green dress again!
Goemon: Yes, I saw that. Now come on, we still have a way to go before we're out of this place.
Ebisumaru: Still disappointed that I couldn't have that fellow interview me. And I'm still hungry!
Goemon: *Sighs.* I know. So am I, but at least I can keep my hunger under control, unlike you.
Ebisumaru: That's not fair of you to say. I'm not that much of a glutton, am I??
Goemon: Well, I suppose not. Now come with me. Let's get out of here. Maybe we can find some bad guys to whack on our way! You know, for the sake of justice!
Ebisumaru: That is, if we can find any... coming Goemon!
*Interview hit on the head.*