Gregg the Grim Reaper Interview by: LucybonesSquirrel
LucybonesSquirrel: Hey Gregg, where are you??
*Gregg appears.*
Gregg the Grim Reaper: Right, right. I can hear you souls. Stop screaming already!
LucybonesSquirrel: Well, look who's finally here. It's...
Gregg: Gregg, the Grim Reaper... *points at LucybonesSquirrel.* and don't laugh.
LucybonesSquirrel: Em... aren't you a little short to be a grim reaper?
Gregg: Well, how many grim reapers have YOU met before, mate? What am I supposed to look like?
LucybonesSquirrel: Yeah, that's a good point, and well made.
Gregg: So, am I coming here for an interview or what? And btw, I was off catching cats, or should I say, the souls of thousands of cats.
LucybonesSquirrel: Um... yeah. Anyway, do you like your job as a grim reaper?
Gregg: Well... to a tee I guess, but it's mostly boring. I'm just doing my job, I do what I'm told... I also don't get paid very much. Yeah I know, it sucks being a grim reaper and not getting any payment for your efforts. But hey, this is my home as well.
LucybonesSquirrel: Ok, glad to hear you're somewhat liking it. Going by what you said earlier, you hate cats, don't you?
Gregg: You got me there mate. Not because of them existing, but the fact that I'm the one to have to keep going after them for eternity! Cats as you may know have nine lives, NINE FREAKING LIVES, and each of them take me forever to catch and claim. Do you think I get paid for it? Really?? NO. It's only off to kill them, and that's it. No cash, no payment, no respects from my boss, and worst of all; having to go and find MORE cats after I just killed some, and it's never ending, it just keeps going on for eternity. Hey boss, your grim reaper down here sometimes wants to take a break too, you hear!!
LucybonesSquirrel: So you're spending all your time finding and reaping cats and people... well, mostly cats maybe.
Gregg: Well, sometimes I'm playing poker games with the dead as another way of passing my time, so at least there's some fun to do.
LucybonesSquirrel: So... do you hate zombies as well?
Gregg: Oh yes. They're even worse than cats. I hate the undead, hate them. The only thing that kills them is shooting them through the head. Shooting them through their body or limbs won't work, as they're immune to any harm in those parts. Yet it is odd that they crawl when having their legs shot down... not that I give a damn about how the undead work anyway, but... What's the bloody point to catch them, they're just so useless!
LucybonesSquirrel: Well, have you heard of an zombie being out in the world now?
Gregg: Say that again? Oh bloody hell, did I miss that little bugger? Well, I won't catch that one anyway. That zombie's looking far too harmless to me, and I see no bloody point in reaping her really.
LucybonesSquirrel: By saying "her" you mean Christine, right?
Gregg: Yeah, that one. Apparently she was a tenor in her early days of living, but some hairdo-looking bastard buried her body under the ground, alive... ah, YOU probably know what I'm talking about, don't you?
LucybonesSquirrel: Yeah, I do. Now, anything last you want to say, or ask maybe?
Gregg: Well, being a grim reaper sure is fun, but it also has it's downsides like not getting paid for your work and so on. Also, of all the cats I fetch and reap, no matter how many, I feel no satisfaction what so ever. Maybe I should start catching earthworms instead... Oh wait a minute, they can burrow themselves under the ground! I so #@%¤ing hate worms, especially earthworms!!
LucybonesSquirrel: Alright, looks like you got another thing to hate now.
Gregg: You got me there mate.
LucybonesSquirrel: I heard that you helped Conker revive his girlfriend Berri. Is this true do you think?
Gregg: Well, you see. one day Conker came back here and started begging me to bring his little b... er, girlfriend back to life. I promised him to bring her back, but only if he promised to leave me alone afterwards.
LucybonesSquirrel: Ok. Anything else?
Gregg: Nope. I think I'm done here... right, that's it. Piss off. I've got some worms to see. *starts walking away as he utters mean things* Bloody things, I just hate those bloody earthworms, with their faceless heads, and... they just crap everywhere, eats like pigs, leaves our carpets dirty, and the way they crawl, ah I just can't stand it, and bla bla bla...
*After Gregg is out of sight.*
LucybonesSquirrel: Ok, maybe I'll better head off back to the living world now. *leaves*
*Interview reaped*