The Awful Shitchurch
The awful Shitchurch(also known by its swedish name "Den avskyvärda Skitkyrkan") is a series of stories centered around the The Great Mighty Poo character from Conker's Bad Fur Day.
In this series TGMP decides to start his own church and religion after having been flushed down the toilet in his poo cave in CBFD. Unlike most other churches, TGMP and his mates do things that normally wouldn't be seen as acceptable or common, like sporting activities of very "pooey" nature, playing karaoke, having parties, and attempts to make themselves some cash.
Their primary rival is a church at the opposite end where some oldies are just trying to have some peace. They're often finding themselves being plagued by TGMP and his friends' singing. Both churches have different tastes, and are usually finding themselves fighting against each other, with the shitchurch side often being victorious over the oldies.
Episode #1
Episode #2
Episode #3
Episode #4
Episode #5
Episode #50
Unfinished Stories
Episode #6
Episode #10
Episode #52
The awful Shitchurch series started in February 21 2008 05:47, according to one of the earliest text documents. But it goes back way further; It all started with two jokes of mine that I told OkidokiCharlie back in the fall of 2007. One of the jokes I remember making was when we were watching a movie at the college we were attending at the time, and the joke had to do with The Great Mighty Poo. Apparently he was having a nightmare; TGMP was singing his favorite opera song while sitting on top of something.
Just a moment later TGMP started to sink. He first thought it was just some kind of special FX, but after hearing the sound of a toilet flushing he began to realize that he was actually sitting in a gigantic toilet, and something had been pulling on the toilet handle. The last words of TGMP before he had been flushed down the toilet completely were;"Why? Why?!! Why ME??! No one thinks I'm singing well! This has got to be a nightmare, a ****ing nightmare! This isn't happening!! It must be a nightmare!! No, Noooo!! I'm flushing, I'm flushing!! Nooo, nooooo, NOOOOOOOOO!!!". What would've happened after that scene though remains a mystery, because I didn't have the time to expand on it further.
My second TGMP related joke was brought up at a later time. It was about TGMP and his church. I kind of wondered why the priest always reads the bible every time one goes to the church. Then the fun part came; The Great Mighty Poo have apparantly begun with church too, but instead of the church being built with bricks it was made of poo. In TGMP's church however he didn't just stand there reading bibles in front of his members, praying to that guy up there or any such things. Instead they were singing opera, with TGMP's Sloprano as their main theme. It was their main tradition, as well as national song.
But they didn't sing just opera; they even did several sports of theirs, which was mostly poo-themed sports, and EVERYTHING applied. No rules or anything, just pure fun. Their sports included Shit-Tennis, Shit-Hockey, Shit-Golf, Shit-Football, and a couple others. As for anything to play with during the matches they had a poor little sweetcorn!
Little did I think that this latter joke of mine would one day turn into an series of stories, and some time later, in february of 2008, were the first story of the Awful Shitchurch written, the first one being given the number #50, primarily because it was intended to be the last story in the series, and also due its very dramatic(in a rather silly way) nature.
Looking back on this series now; while I do find it funny in most parts, there's a lot of things with the stories I would do differently today, mainly cutting down on all the swears, rewriting or replacing certain scenes, and clarify things in better detail.
Story #50 I think would be the one needing the most changes and fixes, as well as restructuring a number of scenes to make things flow better, and changing the dialogue to make the characters not seem like they're shouting their words and sentences so much. The same could even be said for later stories. Starting with Story #5, the characters' swearing and shouting started being toned down a bit, although most of the swearing remained.
Oddly enough, for the sixth story the swears started becoming lesser, but the shouting remained none the less even if it was toned down here and there. In my viewpoint, it is this story where things started to mature a bit, both in style of writing and the overall structure of scenes.
While story #50 are considered the 50th and last story, it is actually the first I wrote for the series. In the end only 6 stories were finished, with story no.6 being left unfinished. Other stories were considered as well, but was either cancelled early on or hadn't even been started.
On July 22 2009, after a fairly long time of not having worked on "The awful Shitchurch", I decided to start working on the first story of the "The Wario Show" series, which would become the thing I would be writing on for almost 7 years, leading to the "The Awful Shitchurch" series being discontinued.
Despite this I kept thinking of resuming my work on "The Awful Shitchurch" at some point, main point being to at least finish the sixth story. Despite some more progress on it, I came to realize it was The Wario Show that would be thing I'd dedicate my time on first and foremost, and it would only be futile to even try and work on "The Awful Shitchurch" any further, thus putting an end to it.
Even so, I did make one last attempt at reviving the series for my Conker's Homeland website as part of the "The Shitchurch" section. The page came to lay dormant for a long time however, and with "The Wario Show" to focus on finishing the "The Awful Shitchurch" series once again became a forgotten thing, putting the final roll of toilet paper in its mouth once and for all.
To summarize it all, this series is one I'd rather redo these days if I had the opportunity to do so. The concept seemed great back in the old days, but now I see a bunch of flaws with how the stories themselves are written, all the swears and shouts, and the structure of most scenes.
On the other hand, I think it's best to leave this series the way it is. I've got other things to write on these days. Hadn't it been for The Wario Show I think this series would have kept the pooball rolling. Even so, I'll still remember it for at least kickstarting my interest in storywriting, and eventually paving the way for the "The Wario Show" series.