The Bartender Interview by: LucybonesSquirrel
The Bartender: *is standing behind the counter holding a glass, wiping it off.*Hm. Wonder who I'll be serving tonight. *sees LucybonesSquirrel coming in* Ah, my first guest. Come on in and have a seat.
LucybonesSquirrel, looking slightly depressed: Alright, thanks...
The Bartender: So, what'll it be?
LucybonesSquirrel: Em... just some water, in a small glass, speyside, no ice...
The Bartender: Hm... on a diet, eh?
LucybonesSquirrel: Naw... Beer ain't just my thing. That's all.
The Bartender: I understand. Drinking can't always be a good thing... any flavor?
LucybonesSquirrel: Grapefruit, maybe.
The Bartender: *starts preparing his drink.* There you go.
LucybonesSquirrel: Woah there cowboy... keep it comin'.
The Bartender: Hm. Okay.
LucybonesSquirrel: Oh, leave the jug.
The Bartender: *raises the jug again.* Yeah.*hands the glass to Lucybones* Lookin' a bit down. What's the matter?
LucybonesSquirrel: *sighs deeply.* You wouldn't believe it. Anyway, I don't think I should talk about it... unless you'd like to listen maybe?
The Bartender: Sure, I've got no qualms about it. Bring the talking on.
LucybonesSquirrel: Well, you see... I've been trying to find someone to interview for months now, including the squirrel family, but they've all turned me down due to most people having almost no time for interviews anymore. I've got no other options left now. I'm almost starting to consider retiring if I can't find anyone willing to do a interview with...
The Bartender: Unfortunate to hear that. I wish you better luck in the future though, that's all I can say on the matter.
LucybonesSquirrel: Well, thanks for those words. I appreciate it... By the way, I haven't interviewed you before. Would you agree to do a interview, or could I just bugger off with the idea?
The Bartender: You know, I don't think I've ever been on a interview before in my life. How complicated is it going to turn out?
LucybonesSquirrel: Not that big actually. Just a couple questions. I'm not in the mood for anything lengthy tonight.
The Bartender: Right, let's get it on then.
LucybonesSquirrel: Ok. So if I'm correct, you've been working as a bartender on this pub for more than 10 years. How did you come to start working here?
The Bartender: Yes, that's correct. Hm... My memory is getting a bit foggy, but I think being a bartender is something I always wanted to do. I like serving my guests even in the most dire situations, like people getting drunk, starting fights and so on.
LucybonesSquirrel: Yeah, I've heard of many instances of that going on in this pub alone.
The Bartender: Yeah. I can usually put up with it though, and for most part I have done my best to prevent any accidents from occuring on the pub. A few guests have had themselves fatally injured however, but you can't always prevent every single bad thing from happening.
LucybonesSquirrel: Conker has also frequented this place more than once. What was your first impression of him when you saw him enter the Cock and Plucker for the first time?
The Bartender: Oh, that guy! Well, I thought he was like everybody else. But this guy was almost different. Well, he always had himself a beer like the other guys, but... any other details I cannot remember very well. The last time I saw him here he had apparently been crowned king over the land. He looked quite miserable, so I asked him what the matter was. He didn't wanna talk about it though, so I figured I wouldn't try bother him. Since that night, I never came to see him again.
LucybonesSquirrel: Well, fast forward over ten years later, Conker suddenly re-appeared again. Anyway, what role did you have in Conker's Bad Fur Day?
The Bartender: Mainly as the bartender of this pub. My role was pretty minor compared to the other guys. I'm fine about it either way though. Serving the guests is more important to me than worrying about my role in a video game.
LucybonesSquirrel: You have also appeared together with Conker in about two snapshots from 2013. Do you remember anything about it?
The Bartender: I do, actually. You see, he called me to do a couple funny pictures together, and he had even brought his "friend" with him. It's been years since I saw that snail. Conker once again made a bet that I wouldn't be able to outrace his little snail, and I said that I would beat him this time. However, I lost once more, and after having himself all the beers in the rubber, the squirrel claimed that he could drink about 100 beers in one go. But it only took him about 50 beers to start hitting the bathroom. I've seen him coming back every now and then, but apparently he has started to put his drinking aside, so I'm not serving him as often like before.
LucybonesSquirrel: Alright. I don't think I've got anything else to ask now... oh, one more thing; have you ever considered other jobs besides bartending?
The Bartender: Not that I know of. I would like to work at a restaurant though. Maybe I'd serve as a waiter, or I'd be the one doing the cooking.
LucybonesSquirrel: Working as a chef on restaurants? Do you see yourself as a good cooker?
The Bartender: Oh yeah, I have some big experience with cooking. I think I could work as both a chef and a waiter.
LucybonesSquirrel: Oh, like taking two jobs at once.
The Bartender: Yes. So? How was your drink?
LucybonesSquirrel: It felt grand actually. Could I have another one maybe?
The Bartender: Ok, coming right up.
LucybonesSquirrel: *thinking to herself* Guess I'm gonna get myself tanked tonight. However, I don't care. It's not like water is anywhere like beer anyway...
*After two hours in the pub.*
LucybonesSquirrel: *is stumbling out of the pub, acting like she's not sober* Augh... Doesn't look too good tonight. *begins to waddle her way back home, but looks in the direction that Conker first took in Bad Fur Day and goes the opposite direction.*
*Interview Cock and Plucker'd.*