Professor Von kripelspac Interview By: LucybonesSquirrel
LucybonesSquirrel: Alright. Today I'll be interviewing a scientist weasel who's bound to...
*The professor comes in.*
Professor Von Kripelspac: Better make a good entrance. Zis could be important!
LucybonesSquirrel: Ah, I see you're here now!
The Prof: Well, vat did ze want me, eh? I better hope it's zomething good!
LucybonesSquirrel: Er... well, I simply called you to do a interview.
The Prof: Oh, iz that so?
LucybonesSquirrel: So, to start it off; You're a weasel that's bound to a wooden hoverchair?
The Prof: Yes, that's because ze legs got blown off during zat war before ze events of Baud Furr Daij.
LucybonesSquirrel: Bad Fur Day.
The Prof: Do not interrupt me. I did zay Baud Furr Daij.
LucybonesSquirrel: It is BAD FUR DAY.
The Prof: Vatever. Let's just get ze intervain goin'!
LucybonesSquirrel: Interview!
The Prof: Shut up, ze nut. I zay thingz however I like. Alright, on with ze other questionz then!
LucybonesSquirrel: How did you come to end up like this?
The Prof: By zat you mean...
LucybonesSquirrel: Well, after your legs were blown off.
The Prof: Well, it's zimple really; after I lost my legs I was granted access to a chair. Not a regular chair, but one that could hover. It was to be my meanz of movement for ze rest of my life. At first I found it all fine, but one day ze stupid Panther King came in and tried taking control. He stole my crown and reduced me to a servant, a general problem solver. Most of ze problems was rather ztupid, and he threatened me with the duct tape if I didn't do what he told me. Same thing applied to thoze stupid guarrdz.
LucybonesSquirrel: Who is this Panther King you speak of?
The Prof: He waz a mean king, but also a large lazy bastard! I always wanted to kill him and take back my throne, but I never got the chance. But one fine day, when I waz workin' on reviving my Tediz, I prepared a alien egg and put it in his milk. Much later, when I were in zat vault with that stupid red little squirrel, ze moment finally came; the egg in his body began to hatch, killing the king when it jumped out of him. However, don't ask me about the details of that king'z appearance or looks, I don't have time to bother answering such nonzense.
LucybonesSquirrel: You have my words... Anyway, what did you like of Conker when you first saw him?
The Prof: He vaz a bastard I tell you. He managed to kill my lovely Tediz, and I so #¤%& hate him for that!! One fine day, I'll be resurrecting my tediz againzt HIM!
LucybonesSquirrel: Conker has always said that you ended up on another planet after the events of Bad Fur Day...
The Prof: Naw, he'z lying! Alright, I did fly out into space after ze events of Baud Furr Daij, but I managed to fetch my hoverchair before it disappeared from reach. Had a rather hard time getting back to ze space vault again, and after some ztruggling I fell back to earth, just on the south pole side. How I ended up around here again I'm not gonna tell you.
LucybonesSquirrel: Aha, why not?
The Prof: Coz' I'm quite evil of myzelf, that's why.
LucybonesSquirrel: Alright, moving on then... Have you met Conker's offspring before?
The Prof: Who, you say?
LucybonesSquirrel: His daughter.
The Prof: Has that little baztard got a kid now?? I'm not believing that one. All I wanna do is get rid of that damn little squirrel.. someday!
LucybonesSquirrel: It starts getting hard for me to put up with him now... Anyway, moving on from Conker. What do you think of yourself today?
The Prof: Vell, if I didn't have my legs blown off, I vould still be around trying to win against ze squirrels... Now I'm bound to this hoverchair, unable to do what I actually should be doing. And worze; I can't valk!
LucybonesSquirrel: Are you planning to threaten any more war against the squirrels?
The Prof: Hmm... I suppoze so. Right now I'm focusing on having my revenge on the panthers. They have begun spreading like hell knows what, and have formed various war camps. I'm not returning to that castle though, since it's so out of date. For the moment I'm living in a old, abandoned bunker somewhere, where I'm trying to hatch my plans, and to once again rezurrect my Tediz!!
LucybonesSquirrel: Are they still the same creatures that you invented earlier?
The Prof: To a tee.. but thiz is more of an updated version of ze previous creationz. They will be zlightly more intelligent, and also more on guard. When I've got them finished, I'll be taking on those damn panthers with them, he he he!!
LucybonesSquirrel: Alright then, let's see whether or not you'll be succeeding... Anyway...
The Prof: *looks at his watch* Oh damn, I'm gonna mizz ze turkey soon!!
LucybonesSquirrel: Turkey??
The Prof: Yez. You zee, I left a turkey at home to be cooked, since I felt quite hungry. Alright, I'll be off zen! I don't want ze turkey to be burnt!
LucybonesSquirrel: But... we aren't even done yet!
The Prof: Vell, I'am anyway. *flies off in his hoverchair.*
LucybonesSquirrel: Alright, if that's so... whatever, may as well go home then.
*Interview Duct tape'd*