Don Weazo Interview: By LucybonesSquirrel
Written on: 2025-10-13 13:26
(This character interview was written long after the Conker's Homeland fansite's discontinuation. The interview may feature new content that wasn't on the fansite and may not align with what is considered canon to the Conker Series.)
LucybonesSquirrel: *has just gotten into the interviewing room.* Well, what is there to say... I decided to have a new interview again after a very long time. Anyway, today's interview will feature the one and only Don. Last time I tried to interview him he mentioned something about shooting a movie or two. Whatever he meant by that I don't really know, but hopefully I will get to know more soon...
Don Weazo: *Comes in* Alright fella, here I am now! Sorry I'm late though, but...
LucybonesSquirrel: You had business to attend to?
Don Weazo: No. My washing machine at home started to break apart, so I had to take it to a mechanics repairing firm to have it fixed.
LucybonesSquirrel: Oh, ok. Anyway, welcome in Don.
Don Weazo: Alright. *sits himself on the chair.* Say, it's been quite some time since I last saw you around. Last time I encountered you was in my former headquarters.
LucybonesSquirrel: Yeah. That was where you and your henchmen were housed by the time of Conker's bad Fur Day.
Don Weazo: That is so.
LucybonesSquirrel: Hang on, did you just say "former headquarters"?
Don Weazo: Yes. As you may know our former headquarters were in that place of those stupid Uga fellas, which is where I operated a dance club named "Rock Solid".
LucybonesSquirrel: Well, I guess that is indeed correct. So, where's your current headquarters?
Don Weazo: Didn't you know that I actually have my own movie studio by now??
LucybonesSquirrel: What? I must've been missing this... you have your own movie studio??
Don Weazo: Yes. Remember how I mentioned once that I was going to shoot a movie or two?
LucybonesSquirrel: Yeah?
Don Weazo: Well, I actually had about moved on to work with movies. I was feeling rather tired and bored of being the head of a mafia that was pretty much going nowhere. After the events of Bad Fur Day, I decided I had enough and wanted to work with movies instead.
LucybonesSquirrel: Alright. So, what is your role at the movie studio besides being the general manager and founder of the company?
Don Weazo: I'm the director of all the movies. Not a producer, but a director. There has been several successful hits released by my studio, like "The Action Adventures of The Don", "Paulie Weasel's Revenge", "Frankie's Worldwide Disco Competition", and "The Weasel Henchmen's Bank Robbery Night". All of them became blockbuster sellers.
LucybonesSquirrel: What audiences are these movies of yours popular with?
Don Weazo: Mainly weasels. But they also seem pretty popular with a certain cartoonish red seagull fellow.
LucybonesSquirrel: What? Is Kazooa into those movies??
Don Weazo: Well, from what I've heard she mainly watches those movies for possible inspiration for her next treasure-making opportunity. She seems to be a very greedy treasure hunter at heart!
LucybonesSquirrel: Oh, so that is why she's watching them... anyway, about that last movie...
Don Weazo: You mean "The Weasel Henchmen's Bank Robbery Night"?
LucybonesSquirrel: Yes. It made me wonder... are you and your henchmen still robbing banks during nights?
Don Weazo: Yes, we are. But we're mostly doing it when our economic situation is dire at home. I'm staying at home these days though. Now it is my henchmen to be the ones to go out and do the bank robbing.
LucybonesSquirrel: And why is that?
Don Weazo: Well, I'm not as young as I used to be. While the movies I direct are constant blockbusters with at least the weasels, that money often goes to helping other weasels in need, and contributing to developments of new buildings, homes, and facilities in Weasel Town. As for my own income, I have to rely on having my henchmen rob banks that are pretty much on decline.
LucybonesSquirrel: Banks that are on decline? You mean banks that are mostly abandoned?
Don Weazo: Yes. These days we ain't robbing banks that are buzzing with activity and success. That would be unfair to the whole economy of Weasel Town, so we better target banks that are very much not in operation anymore.
LucybonesSquirrel: Do your henchmen make any successful banking on the banks they rob?
Don Weazo: Very often not. But at least it is enough money to cover for buying food. Maybe even the occasional bill.
LucybonesSquirrel: I see. So, this is a question I used to ask other characters back in the day, but... what did you think of Conker The Squirrel when you first saw him?
Don Weazo: At first I... well, I guess I just didn't mind it very much. Reflecting on it now, I think that squirrel was a pretty handy guy. He helped me flood the Uga's cave by dropping a bomb in the cave with that big egg, and he later helped me rob a bank.
LucybonesSquirrel: About that last part... you were working for the Panther King, isn't that correct?
Don Weazo: That is so. I was enlisted to help bringing that squirrel to him. His response to my question about whether or not we should kill the squirrel kind of baffled me, and I was even more confused when he told that he didn't want him to be "exactly killed". He then ordered me to kill that squirrel's girlfriend, to which I obliged, for it was my duty as the head of the mafia to do such things.
LucybonesSquirrel: And after that a alien shoot out of the Panther's king's chest, to which you responded by running off. Why did you do that?
Don Weazo: Well, I was actually taken back by surprise when it happened. I didn't expect a alien to just burst out of him like that. Things began getting a bit too weird for me, and not knowing what else to make of it, I decided to make my way out of the building. When I got outside the bank I witnessed the building suddenly hovering, breaking free from the ground, and then it flew off into the sky, never to be seen again. It was at this point that I thought, "What am I living on this weird, nonsensical land for??", and so I set out to return to my headquarters again.
LucybonesSquirrel: Alright. So, did you stay in your HQs then?
Don Weazo: No, I moved with my henchmen to Weasel Town after some time.
LucybonesSquirrel: But... you were in your old HQs when I had my first interview with you back in the day!
Don Weazo: Yes. You see, I realized we forgot some stuff there after we settled into Weasel Town, so we returned to get the things we missed. By that point I had already moved on to my career as a movie director. But since I was being interviewed by you, I thought I better have to stay in character for the sake of the interview.
LucybonesSquirrel: Aha, so that's why I saw you there at that moment. Anyway, apart from yourself, what are your henchmen doing these days?
Don Weazo: Well, Paulie, Chicho, and Ali are at home whenever they're not robbing banks. Frankie meanwhile has been taking on a career and passion as a disco dancer. I must say that Frankie surely has gotten popular by traveling to various disco clubs showing off his performances.
LucybonesSquirrel: Frankie surely must be raking in a lot of cash by dancing disco all around the world!
Don Weazo: He sure is. The money he makes though goes to various charities. I have to admit, even though I shouldn't, that I'm much proud of Frankie. He made the right move to become a disco dancer after the events of Bad Fur Day.
LucybonesSquirrel: So, besides robbing banks, what jobs or hobbies would your other henchmen take, should they ever think about it?
Don Weazo: I don't know. For now they seem content with living at home, robbing the occasional bank in decline, and so on. Chicho and Ali meanwhile seem to have found a hobby of going outside at night. I don't know what for, but... maybe they're getting bored of sitting at home all the time? I'm not feeling quite sure there.
LucybonesSquirrel: Alright, this will my last question, and this is something I always ask at the near end of every interview; what do you think of yourself today?
Don Weazo: Well, I guess I'm lucky to have become the director of a movie company that I myself started, and helping the town out with all the money we make on our movies. If I hadn't met that red squirrel back in the early days, who knows where else I would've been now. Maybe I would still be the leader of my own mafia? Maybe I would've moved on to do some very shady job dealing with the development of suspicious "Machine Smartness", or whatever the thing that's going on the internet these days is called...
LucybonesSquirrel: Oh, so you know about that thing then?
Don Weazo: Yes. If it was me inventing that intelligence stuff though, I would've used it more to help us rob banks more easily. Could've been a real life saver back then, considering all the blows I took due to the incompetence of one of my henchmen...
LucybonesSquirrel: Ah yes, there was also that incident where you had to be taken to hospital due to Ali's playing with the dynamite.
Don Weazo: Yes. He did that while near the door to the vault. The explosion made the bolts that holds the door in its place fly off, and the door fell right over me! I can't wait till the day that very thing also happens to him. Maybe it'll make him learn something...
LucybonesSquirrel: So, did this accident play a part in you retiring from robbing banks?
Don Weazo: I suppose so. But even before that I felt there must come a time that I have to retire. But that incident I think was what made me think about it much sooner, considering the injuries I endured.
LucybonesSquirrel: Alright, that is all for today's interview. But thanks for letting me have this interview with you, and good luck with your career as a movie director.
Don Weazo: You're welcome. And good luck with your interviewing of other characters.
LucybonesSquirrel: Right. I promise I will do it to the best of my ability.
*After the Don has left the room.*
LucybonesSquirrel: *Sighs* Alright. Suppose that's my first character interview in a very long time. There's many more to come though, so it's not yet over. I can only wonder who I might be interviewing next... *does some cleaning up in the room.*
*Interview Directed by LucybonesSquirrel.*